I’ve always wondered… why do some ppl have this perpetual need to portray/present to others, a certain type of front/facade rather than allow themselves to be who/wat they are comfortable with? I, for one, have learnt over the years that no matter how ‘well’ we ‘behave’, there will always be some person who will talk and let their imagination run wild over why so-and-so acts this way or that. And there are some ppl who choose to think badly of us no matter how saintly our heart is. So wat’s the point of putting on a ‘show’ just for the sake of others?

FrankIy, I dunno why ppl are so nosy in the first place. How another person chooses to portray him/herself to the public should be of no concern to others as long as the person is good at heart and is not harming others. As for me, I care jackshit abt wat ppl think and if those ppl really wanna know the truth, they can jolly well come and ask me directly rather than gossip abt it behind my back. If they dun, well, they can say watever they wanna say. I’m not abt to live my life based on wat others may be thinking/assuming my actions to be…

I dun understand how some things are run/done in this country:

1. There is no evidence of long-term planning or proper analysis watsoever when some genius decides to build a public structure:

   Case in point #1: Highways. Wat is the point of building soooooo many freakin highways when it consists of a 5-lane highway converging into 2 measly lanes at the exit???! Instead of solving the traffic issues, it’s escalating the blurdy problem! Might as well just leave the road as it is in its current 2-lane state! Wat’s worse is that we, the tax payers, have to pay for blurdy toll to get stuck in a traffic jam right after getting out of the toll! ARGH!

   Case in point #2: LRT/Monorail System. Wat is the point of having KL Sentral when commuters have to walk out of the building, cross a vast empty area, cross a busy main road to get to the Monorail?! Who is the blurdy stupid genius who doesn’t understand wat ‘Sentral’ means?! Do they not understand wat an ‘integrated system’ means??? And they dare to wonder why ppl complain abt the effectiveness of public transport in the city! It’s not like KL is such a ginormous town at that. But we have 3 different freakin rail systems, all of which commuters need to disembark and walk a considerable distance to catch the next one. Geez, it’s so absurd that it’s not even funny! I dun see why if NYC, S’pore, and even Bangkok can have an effective, integrated rail system, M’sia can’t. It just doesn’t make sense!

2. To ostracize one of the most reknowned (if not THE most reknowned) Indian classical figures in the country, if not the region, just coz he’s Muslim. Me and Chris were having a discussion over dinner about how Ramli doesn’t get any funding watsoever from the *relevent body* to continue his efforts in promoting and preserving Indian classical dance in the country and the reason for this is coz he’s a Muslim practising a Hindu art. This is definitely not news to us. In fact, it’s a well-known fact. And it is such a terrible shame coz Ramli is such an expert in his art and widely hailed in other countries, even India itself, as one of the foremost gurus of Odissi but yet, our *relevent body* does not recognize this and provide him with the proper funding to continue his legacy. See, if Ramli practised the Mak Yong or some other Malay cultural dance, I have no doubt that he would be given the necessary funding by this *relevent body*. But just coz he’s practising something that is non-Malay and non-Muslim, he’s cast aside.

   After being his student for more than 3 yrs (and still going), I’ve come to have utmost respect for this man who has such passion in his art. To actually go ahead and pursue his passion even though it meant being ostracized by his fellow men, to me, that is one of the ultimate sacrifices one can make to follow one’s dream. And he is so good at his art that each time he does/shows a move during class, I never fail to stare in wonder (though I try to do it subtly, hehe) and think to myself ‘man, i wish i could do it half as good as he does!’ And the reason why I enjoy his classes and being a part of his dance academy is coz he doesn’t include any element of Hindu worship or anything to do with the religion in his teachings, unlike some other places that I know of. Me, being agnostically inclined and religion-neutral, would’ve hightailed outta there faster than u can imagine if any element of religion had been impressed upon students in the classes.

   But see, even with all the accolades that Ramli’s received, the *relevent body* still chooses to ignore his chosen art. And though we would never admit it, it all boils down to race and religion. For some strange reason, these 2 topics are very sensitive topics here (why, i dunno, as we are supposed to be a democracy and issues should be able to be openly discussed, ideally). And the fact that we’re so ‘culturally rich’, anything that one does that is outside of the ‘culture’ that we are brought up in, is immediately deemed as ‘delinquent’. Ppl just cannot accept it when someone who is of their own cultural background, chooses to do something out of the norm and out of the culture that they’ve been brought up in. Can’t ppl just understand that cultures are meant to be shared, enjoyed, and preserved by all and not just by the particular group that ‘owns’ it?

3. Some groups of ppl have such narrowminded views and the shepherd-flock mentality that it just astounds me to the point where I wonder ‘Gosh, do these ppl even try to think rationally and logically on their own?’ One example that was related to me was how a friend of a friend, who’s a staunch Christian, gave up practising yoga because her pastor informed her that she is practising Hinduism by doing yoga.

   Ok… let me first get this straight that I have nothing against any religion and that I like learning and reading abt all religions; I’ve just never subscribed to any religion in particular. But, c’mon! If u do yoga, u are deemed to be practising Hinduism??!!! I’m not sure abt yoga in other countries, but I dare say that yoga in this country is practised for its health benefits more than anything else. I’ve done yoga myself and all it involves is systematic breathing exercises and different poses and NO Hindu worship watsoever! And for ppl, and a pastor at that, to say that if u do yoga, u are going against the word of Christ, that is just plain irresponsible! And wat’s more scary abt it is that I know a lot of ppl who take the words of their religious leader as the word of God (or something to that effect). Can you imagine wat would happen if some misguided religious leader utters something dangerous, perhaps against another race or religion? Oh wait a min, this is already happening in other parts of the world! *shudder* The repercussions of this, as we’ve already seen, can be enormously horrific.

   Anyway, coming back to the topic at hand… ppl seriously need to be able to think and judge for themselves and not let some religious leader or some other person of authority tell them wat is good/bad for them. It gets really frustrating when I hear of stories like the one above. Just makes me wanna literally shake the person and tell him/her ‘Can u pls think for urself? Have some common sense, will u?!’

Sometimes, the things I see/hear/experience, makes me feel like we’re moving backwards instead of progressing as a society and as a country. It’s quite sad… and absolutely frustrating… sigh…

Phew… I seem to have some sort of verbal diarrhea today. The recent discussion I had with Chris had opened up some floodgates in my mind that have been closed for some time… lol!

*Disclaimer: This entry consists entirely of MY own views and opinions, and is not endorsed by any other party watsoever.

Haha! Got this from Audrey today… I luv it! )

A Prayer for the Stressed

Grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change,
the courage to change things that I cannot accept and the wisdom the hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they got on my nerves.

Also help me to be careful of toes I step on today as they may be connected to the feet I may have to kiss tomorrow.

When I am having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up, it takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile and only 4 muscles to extend my arm and smack someone on the mouth.

*ROFL!* Have a good day, ppl!

Canned Hunts = private trophy hunting ranches, also referred to as “shooting preserves” or “game ranches.” Canned hunts offer their customers an opportunity to kill confined exotic and/or native species for a price (ref: The Humane Society of the United States: Facts about Canned Hunts)

Last nite, was watching CSI. One of the cases had something to do with ‘canned hunts’ involving a Zodiak bear and when they played a video of a canned hunt (it was a rhino), it brought back traumatizing memories of the factsheets that I’d read before pertaining to this vile ‘sport’.

Humans are such vile creatures. It’s not enuf that they make the hunting of wild animals a sport; they’ve introduced this concept of ‘canned hunts’ (see definition above). In this ‘sport’, the customer pays a certain sum of $$$ to the canned hunt operator and is guaranteed a ‘trophy’ and how this is done, it just plain sick:

1. There is always a fence : unlike traditional hunting where hunters will enter a fenceless designated hunting area, canned hunts will have fences that prohibits the animal from escaping.
2. The animals are semi-tame : they are often bred specifically for this purpose or purchased from game farms and as such, are accustomed to humans.
3. The animals are sometimes drugged to prevent them from running to far from the hunting party.

I just dun get it. Wat is the point of hunting if the animal doesn’t have a fair chance of escape?? And wat’s the thrill in hunting a defenceless animal?? Do these so-called ‘hunters’ actually get a thrill out of killing a semi-tame, sometimes drugged animal??? I dun get it… I… JUST… DUN… GET… IT!!! Can u imagine how terrifying it is for the animal, to find out that they can’t escape from these deranged two-legged creatures coz there’s a barrier around all escape routes, and worse, in some cases, the flight instinct is hampered coz it’s been drugged to keep it from running away? GAWD! I mean… how much more evil can humans get??!!! And they get a fucking THRILL out of this?!

I’ve always believed that humans, in general, are the most vile of all living beings… manipulative and always scheming for their own good. But when I hear/read/see things like this ‘canned hunt’, it almost drives me insane due to the sheer unfairness of it all. Dun even make me go into all the other horrible things that we humans do to these animals…

The animal species has been on the earth for far longer than us homo sapiens but here we are, acting like we’re Gods of the earth with the right to do anything and everything we want with other living creatures. It just makes me sick to the stomach just thinking about it… I just hope there will come a day where animals will rule and exterminate all the vile humans from the face of the earth.

I luv my SMCK* friends!!! They’re fun, sarcastic, incredibly wacky and crazy but most of all, they’re the friends I grew up with and the ones who know me for who I really am. We’ve had our share of spats and squabbles but we always made up and the bond just got stronger after that.

Last Sat, we had a pre-Xmas BBQ at Poh Fei’s place… most of the group was there, some with their significant others. Bee Suan, Siow Lan, Steph, Joann, Chris, Li May… it was great to see everyone again. The last time I saw some of them was at my salsa competition a couple of weeks ago.

So there we were, being ourselves, having the time of our lives and being sarcastic to each other (as usual, hehe)… to the casual observer, all the sarcasm might be a lil’ too much to stomach but that’s how we are all the time and it’s all in good fun, never with any ill feeling towards each other. I guess u could say that that’s our way of showing our affection to each other… and shows how comfortable we are with each other that we can diss each other and still end up rolling on the floor, laughing our guts out together.

Got a lil’ high thru the evening, on vodka mix (I think Anthony – Siow Lan’s other half – mixed like, 3/4 of the bottle into the ‘punch bowl’!)… after my 3rd cup, was feeling very hot and a teeny weeny bit tipsy… hehe… this is actually the first time I’d drank any alcohol at any of our gatherings, coz I had a backup driver in case the need arose, hehe… so after the vodka, i started on the wines that I’d brought. Loved the wines! They were fruit-flavored, naturally… hehe…i dun like those bitter (or is it dry?) ones… bleeecckkk… loved ‘em so much that i was so tempted to buy another bottle when i was at BSC yesterday… hehe…

Played Taboo… haha, when the card for ‘Wonderbra’ came up and my team was guessing, Li May went ‘it’s something that i need’ and Anthony went ‘breast implants?’… and all of us burst out laughing!!! hahaha!! that was soooooo funny!

Aaaaaahhh… it was great to be with my buddies again. We’ve been thru the painful teen yrs together. That was more than 10 yrs ago. Now one of us is married… almost all are securely and happily attached, save for the few of us ‘delinquents’, hehe. Soon the kids’ll start coming… hey, maybe we could be godmas to each others’ kiddies! hehe… ;o)

Anyway, i love u gals! U know who u are… ) We MUST meet up more often, ya… Merry Xmas and an awesome New Year!

*SMCK = Sekolah Menengah Convent Kajang ;o)

Gawd!! Malaysian drivers are so fucking annoying sometimes!!! Especially the female ones! Well, most of them… so as not to rile up my friends who are female drivers… :p

Was at the basement parking at Plaza Mont Kiara just now, backing up into a parking spot when this stupid blurdy biatch in a Honda CRV, couldn’t wait for me to get into my parking spot and came soooooo blurdy close to my car to inch her way thru. Wat the fuck, man????!!!! Can’t even wait for blurdy 10 seconds for me to back up into my parking spot! Geez… these ppl, all drive as though they’re attending to a life or death situation… BAH!

Hate M’sian drivers… they’re the only ones who are capable of making me resort to profanity… gggggrrrrr!!!

…that I can never ever pls everyone??? Geez, u’d have thought that I’d learnt from my previous experiences but nooooooo, i had to go and try and do good by everybody but end up pissing off someone or other. Hmph, next time, maybe i should just be a sponge. Just absord anything and everything that is told to me… but dun do anything abt it. Either that, or just be totally self-absorbed and just focus on the best for myself… at least I’ll know if I’m pleased with my actions and the outcomes, and know that the only person to blame is myself… hmph…

I’d finally plucked up the guts to change my navel ring last nite! Or rather, very early this morning. Was talking to Brian after class and telling him how I still haven’t gotten over the quesiness of handling my navel ring… so when I got home, I decided, ‘Heck, I’m gonna change it now!’… and I did!!! And it wasn’t bad at all! I tried on the flower first, then this morning, I changed it to the butterfly. Results:

Oh my, it seems that I’ve ruffled quite a few feathers recently without even realizing it! It’s amazing how those small, tiny, seemingly harmless events can be misconstrued and result in such monstrous reactions (ok, maybe monstrous is a lil’ exaggerated… hehe) but still… a much bigger reaction than expected anyway…

Well, just so it’s known, if anyone EVER has any gripe abt me or a bone to pick with me, pls do come to me directly so I can straighten it out and tell my side of the story rather than complain or gossip abt it with other 3rd parties. I really DO appreciate the honesty and straightforwardness. And to those who’ve done so, I really do thank u and will take ur comments into serious consideration. Those shortcomings of mine which I can fix, I most definitely will (but pls dun expect overnite changes!)… but others which I can’t fix, well, if u’re a true friend, u’d be able to accept me for who I am coz none of us are perfect… and a lot of us are not mind readers either ;o) And I’d like to maintain that, anything that I’ve ever done, it’s never ever out of any ill intentions so if the idea ever comes into ur mind, pls PLS check with me immediately and get the story straight! I’m not one to mince words so I’m usually direct and blunt sometimes (too much so, sometimes) so maybe things that I say dun come out rite and some may take offense. It’s scary how easily words/actions are misunderstood and get twisted out of proportion, and ppl who are supposed to know u well enuf suddenly think the worst of u just coz of this misinterpretation… *shudder*

Anyway, I think that most (if not all) recent misunderstandings have been cleared up and hopefully, things’ll return to some sort of normalcy soon *crossing fingers* Well, another lesson learned here for me…

Had my yr-end appraisal last week. The boss seemed reasonably pleased with my performance and says she’s gonna give me a ‘nice’ bonus and a slight increment. So am eagerly waiting for this mth’s paycheck to see wat her definition of ‘nice’ is… hhhmmm… I’d prefer to get a larger increment and a smaller bonus coz then it’ll take effect every mth instead of one-off but then again, I shouldn’t complain. Let’s hope the bonus is really nice… *praying really hard*

Apparently, they’re expecting a few large projects next yr and the boss told me that I can choose either to manage the local project or join the team who’ll be handling the overseas expansion. But the details are still fuzzy as of now… so she’ll let me know more in Jan. It all sounds quite exciting but am having my reservations coz somehow, things dun normally turn out the way they’re promised.