Hmm… I can’t remember when was the last time I was in Singapore.

Oh well, no matter. Two more days! Yay!

You know how sometimes, you’ve just reached a point where you know you can’t take any more of the same crap?

I have reached this point.

Great! I was beginning to think that I have the patience of a saint.

If one was (or is it “were”?) truly remorseful about something one had done, then one would consciously work harder not to repeat the same deed.

Apologies are worth nought if that same deed is repeated again… and again… and again.

So goes the credibility down the drain.

Got this here. I think the list is pretty relevant, though maybe not entirely exhaustive.

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When determining if you should let things get serious, remember: actions speak louder than words. With that being said, here are ten dating red flags. If you see any of these, do yourself a favor and reconsider if it’s worth it for you.

1. You are not on the VIP list for breaking news

Were you the last to learn about this person’s job promotion or newborn niece or nephew? Once things are serious, you should be among the first to know about exciting news, or bad news.

2. They avoid meeting your family or friends

If they are shying away from meeting your friends/family consistently, then there are problems. Even if they are very shy, they should want to meet those who are important to you.

3. They don’t make any sacrifices

Healthy relationships don’t require bending over backwards all the time, but a certain amount of sacrifice is necessary in a selfless union. When two of my friends first started dating one another, she demanded that he go to Farm Aid for her birthday, which was also the opening NFL football Sunday. While all the guys gathered to watch the games, he was sweltering on some field attending Farm Aid — an event he never would have gone to if she hadn’t have invited him. Now that’s sacrifice.

4. They can’t fit in your future

I admit it. When I meet girls, I envision future moments I may some day share with them. Most of my scenarios are her with me and my family at a Thanksgiving holiday or at a summer crabfeast. If I’m really into her, I usually relish the thought. If not, I kinda cringe.

5. They are too controlling

It’s scary but I’ve seen many relationships where guys forbid girls to hang out with certain friends, or wear certain clothes. Major problem if someone is controlling you and not allowing you to be who you want to be within a relationship.

6. The “what are we” conversation fails miserably

Almost every relationship hits that crossroads where you both decide if it’s worth taking the plunge into being exclusive and calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend. If they are confused and surprised that you’re ready to get serious, the timing is not right, and you should try to figure out how long you want to wait around until they are ready.

7. They talk about plans that don’t involve you

My sister has major wanderlust. She’s always talking about heading off to Chicago or living in London for a year. She often talks about these things with no regard for the fact that she has a boyfriend at the time. If you find that someone is making plans or talking about far off places without inviting you along for the ride, don’t let yourself get too into this person.

8. Your friends or family don’t like them

Remember that your friends and family know you best. Don’t take their thoughts with a grain of salt. It’s one thing if a person or two don’t get along with your significant other, but if a lot of them are saying you should reconsider, then do it. Unfortunately, we often find out about how much our friends hated that person after this person is gone.

9. They violated your trust

Whether it’s cheating or a little lie that they got caught in, it will be hard to regain trust. Trust is something we don’t give away easily, and once it’s gone it’s hard to get it back. We’ll always be wondering about that lie, and doubt will creep in more and more as our minds fixate on that lie. Too often, people take trust for granted and once they lose it they never get it back.

10. You practice “unbalanced dating”

Are you always seeing his friends or doing things that he wants to do? Do you just let him pick the restaurants and events? Or is it the other way around? Relationships are fun when you are both able to contribute. If you’re not taking turns creating fun times together, it will most likely fizzle out.

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Any red flags in your relationship?

All this ding dong-ing is not cool. Not cool at all.

Hairline cracks are becoming more prominent.

Could these all be excuses to disguise the real intention?

Sometimes, when you think too hard about doing/not doing something,  your mind is telling you to go with your gut-feel. This was what someone once told me.

To give a simplified analogy, let’s say I see an item that I quite like but is priced a bit over my budget. I like it but I’m hesitant to buy it so I leave it first and walk around a bit. Most of the time, I will end up not buying the item because really, I don’t need it and can live without it.

I think a lot of the decisions we make in our lives revolve around this principle. Many things are not as complicated as they seem; we just make them seem more complicated, gawd knows for what reason. Regardless how “difficult” a situation may be, the heart will know best. Or, in this case, the gut. Whichever works.

Haha… far from it.

But now that I’ve decided, I feel more at peace and in control.

Come what may

*drip drip* my nose is having a life of its own and is leaking like a drippy faucet

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Had dinner with the gals recently and as usual, after our updates on work and stuff, we veered toward the topic of men. This gang of gals has some of the most interesting and dramatic relationship stories among all my friends so it’s always interesting to hear the latest news each time we meet up   (Yes, WY, you are included too )

ET just started a new relationship and we got to talking about how, at our age, we should lay the cards on the table and discuss with our partner, our expectations of the relationship and where we hope to go from there so that both parties times are not wasted. I think this holds true for both genders but since I’m female, I can only speak for my gender but mostly for myself, since I can’t vouch for other females, hah.

So that got me thinking, that this, in my opinion, is so important for women who are past their early dating days (i.e. early to mid, and sometimes late twenties) and who have a desire to settle down with the person they love and perhaps, someday, start a family, biological reasons notwithstanding. Because many a time, we would be surprised at how different our expectations are from those of our partners.

When we’re in our early to mid twenties, we’re still young and sometimes foolish and most of the time, we just want to have fun. Plus we have plenty of time to date different people to find out what type of person we would like to spend the rest of our lives with. This wasn’t the case with me, but at that age, I felt that I had plenty of time to grow up and settle down.

Now that I’m getting closer to the big three-O, my outlook has changed somewhat. If I were to get into a relationship around this age, I would make sure that I make all my major expectations clear and if we cannot agree on these critical items, then it would be best that we both go our separate ways right now rather than wait several years down the road and then discover that we cannot live together. It would be a waste of both of our time and effort in cultivating a relationship that is doomed from the start.

For example, if one party is in it just for the companionship (i.e. having someone around to curb the loneliness) or physical intimacy and nothing else, but the other party wants the full works (courtship, commitment, proposal, marriage, family), then it’s obvious it’s not gonna work out unless someone changes his/her expectations.

Of course, you won’t be able to agree on every single item. Which is why I pointed out – major expectations. As with any relationship (personal, work, friendship), there must always be a compromise when it comes to the not-so-critical stuff.

There’s this message that was played on the radio some time ago, where this singer Shanice (I think), related a message to women and one of the things she said went something like “Always be sure that that someone ADDS to your happiness.” Maybe this doesn’t relate directly to the topic but I feel that women are always pressured to get married and have a family by a certain age, and when they reach that age and are not married, they tend to settle for less in the hopes of being able to realize their expectations later on during the marriage but sometimes, this just doesn’t happen.

When I was younger, I told myself not to have any expectations in any relationship I get into, to minimize the disappointment should it not work out. But as I get older (and hopefully, wiser), my perspective and priorities have changed. When I was younger, I wasn’t clear what I wanted. Now, it’s getting clearer.

Getting fed up with the direction-less way this is heading.

Not that I haven’t done anything to prod it into some direction.

If someone doesn’t make a decision soon, I think I’m gonna do something drastic.

Hmph!

A lot of things happening in the country these few days.

A number of ridiculous arrests, with even more ridiculous reasons given for them.

The rakyat is way smarter than they give us credit for. But I do hope that in tense times like these, people will fight smart and not let those bastards instigate any rash reactions.

It will NOT be like May 13, 1969 again.

This is what our country is all about.