Laying the cards on the table
*drip drip* my nose is having a life of its own and is leaking like a drippy faucet 
~~~~~
Had dinner with the gals recently and as usual, after our updates on work and stuff, we veered toward the topic of men. This gang of gals has some of the most interesting and dramatic relationship stories among all my friends so it’s always interesting to hear the latest news each time we meet up 
(Yes, WY, you are included too 
)
ET just started a new relationship and we got to talking about how, at our age, we should lay the cards on the table and discuss with our partner, our expectations of the relationship and where we hope to go from there so that both parties times are not wasted. I think this holds true for both genders but since I’m female, I can only speak for my gender but mostly for myself, since I can’t vouch for other females, hah.
So that got me thinking, that this, in my opinion, is so important for women who are past their early dating days (i.e. early to mid, and sometimes late twenties) and who have a desire to settle down with the person they love and perhaps, someday, start a family, biological reasons notwithstanding. Because many a time, we would be surprised at how different our expectations are from those of our partners.
When we’re in our early to mid twenties, we’re still young and sometimes foolish and most of the time, we just want to have fun. Plus we have plenty of time to date different people to find out what type of person we would like to spend the rest of our lives with. This wasn’t the case with me, but at that age, I felt that I had plenty of time to grow up and settle down.
Now that I’m getting closer to the big three-O, my outlook has changed somewhat. If I were to get into a relationship around this age, I would make sure that I make all my major expectations clear and if we cannot agree on these critical items, then it would be best that we both go our separate ways right now rather than wait several years down the road and then discover that we cannot live together. It would be a waste of both of our time and effort in cultivating a relationship that is doomed from the start.
For example, if one party is in it just for the companionship (i.e. having someone around to curb the loneliness) or physical intimacy and nothing else, but the other party wants the full works (courtship, commitment, proposal, marriage, family), then it’s obvious it’s not gonna work out unless someone changes his/her expectations.
Of course, you won’t be able to agree on every single item. Which is why I pointed out – major expectations. As with any relationship (personal, work, friendship), there must always be a compromise when it comes to the not-so-critical stuff.
There’s this message that was played on the radio some time ago, where this singer Shanice (I think), related a message to women and one of the things she said went something like “Always be sure that that someone ADDS to your happiness.” Maybe this doesn’t relate directly to the topic but I feel that women are always pressured to get married and have a family by a certain age, and when they reach that age and are not married, they tend to settle for less in the hopes of being able to realize their expectations later on during the marriage but sometimes, this just doesn’t happen.
When I was younger, I told myself not to have any expectations in any relationship I get into, to minimize the disappointment should it not work out. But as I get older (and hopefully, wiser), my perspective and priorities have changed. When I was younger, I wasn’t clear what I wanted. Now, it’s getting clearer.
I shall let my family and friends tell you about me. These comments may be rather old but I think the gist of them still hold 
heheheh. tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. it was chenelle, by the way… .
aaahh… chenelle, haha… ok…
nah, no ticking or tocking… these things should be clear from the start, that’s all.