Expectations and agreements
“When “love” comes with preconditions, it’s called a business agreement.”
My personal view?
1. I agree, looking from a different angle. But not necessarily in a bad way. Realistically, love comes with expectations. Relationships come with expectations. Whether one realizes it or not, expectations are there. I liken preconditions to expectations. And with expectations, there will be agreements, if you wish, where the expectations do not meet.
I don’t agree with the term ‘business’ agreement. Agreement, yes. When a couple gets married, they sign a contract, an agreement. Some sign prenups. The conditions are written in black and white, hence agreements. Yes, they are all signed willingly (most of the time), but there you have it. Agreements. They are there in every facet of our lives. Written, formal, unofficial, verbal. Major agreements, minor ones.
One can either take this negatively or take it in stride and work with it to make a relationship successful.
2. Further to this, I’ve come to fully realize why we strive so hard to find a partner who shares our values and goals in life. When you are with someone who shares your values and goals, agreements can be reached and/or decisions can be made more easily because you are already on common ground to start with. Preconditions are minimized, the changes that are required of you are also minimized because of your shared values and goals.
If you don’t have similar values and/or goals, then you’d better be prepared to work doubly hard to make the relationship work because there will be many disagreements and arguments.
Having expectations in a relationship doesn’t mean that you love your partner less if s/he doesn’t meet up to some of your expectations. Rather, I believe it makes you evaluate more carefully and thoroughly if you wish to spend the rest of your life with this person and more importantly, if you CAN live the rest of your life with this person. But this can also mean that people who love each other may not necessarily be able to be together.
I know of someone who broke up with the love of her life because she just couldn’t live together with him because he had a habit of picking on her on every little thing when they were cohabiting.
I know of another person who broke if off with her partner (not sure how long they’d been going out) and married another in quite a short time because she felt that she had found her soulmate (similar values? expectations? goals?). No, it wasn’t a shotgun wedding either. I bumped into her recently and they seem quite happily married.
Call it whatever you may, I think it is rare to find unconditional love, excluding those of parents and their offspring. And pets with their guardians.
I shall let my family and friends tell you about me. These comments may be rather old but I think the gist of them still hold 
