I am deeply saddened to learn that the values I hold dear in life are considered an imposition.

This has triggered some thoughts for evaluation.

Most of all, I wonder why I am made to feel bad for wanting to do good in this world.

Crap.

My endricronologist is freaking me out. Each time I go for a checkup (which is every 3-4 months), he would ask me about my dancing coz he seems quite fascinated. And then he would make some remark like, “It’s good that you’re exercising because with your frame, you would put on a lot of weight next time.” This was in today’s visit. I was like “Huh??” Then he asked me what size my feet are coz apparently, you can tell a person’s built by the size of his/her feet. Fyi, I have big feet.

In one of my previous checkups, he said “You’re the type who, after a few kids, would put on about 30kg (?!)”

What the…???!! Am I doomed??!!!!! 

He’s not being mean. He’s just very matter-of-fact.

But I’m like, SHIT!!! How laaaaa???!!!!! I DO NOT want to balloon up into a gigantic piece of lard or something!

So, I asked him what should I do to prevent myself from putting weight. He said to watch what I eat and exercise.
But I don’t eat a lot!!! And I don’t eat meat!!!! Ok Ok, I should cut down on the junk food, but it’s not like I eat a lot of it anyway.

Hmph. I’m determined NOT to balloon up. I am gonna prove him wrong.

If there’s another reason to NOT have kids, this is it. It’s coz I like how I am…maybe I could stand to lose a few of those kgs that I’ve put on, but generally, I like my figure. I don’t know why but some people may think this is selfish but hallo?! It is MY body. Do you know how much work it takes to maintain one’s shape, not only for ourselves but for our partners as well? (This excludes people who can eat anything they want and still remain stick-thin)

No one else has to deal with having all to do the work to keep my body in shape but myself.

Bah!

*mutter mutter grumble mutter*

 This is Patches. We call her Patchy.

… if a person genuinely cares about animals when :

1. S/he asks about my cats whenever s/he meets me (after finding out that I have cats), and

2. S/he asks what my cats’ names are, remembers them, and uses them in proceeding conversations instead of just “your cats”.

Hmm… you know what I think some Malaysians might do when this is implemented?

Home owner to garbage collector, “Eh, I bagi lu dua puluh ringgit satu bulan, lu ambik semua sampah I la. Tak ada masa mau asingkan la.”

ok ok… I know I should give people time to be aware and be educated. But heck, when I was in the US 10 years ago, it was already normal practice to separate our recyclebles, including rinsing out our bottles before putting them out to be collected. At large supermarkets, there were machines that you feed your soda bottles and cans into and you get paid a few cents for each bottle/can, which you can redeem at your next purchase.

I can just imagine some Malaysians complaining :

“What?! We have to do what?! Separate our garbage?! What the hell do we pay the garbage collectors for?!”

“Aiyah, no time la… anyway, nobody’s going to do it.”

“This is stupid. I’ll just pay the garbage collectors a bit of money to take all my garbage. I have no time for this nonsense.”

Let’s wait and see the public reaction to this.

Note : To-date, I am still rinsing my bottles and plastics before putting them in the recycling bin. It’s part of my daily routine, separating my thrash and recycling, that is.

OMG, is change really happening here??? :-O

Or is this some cruel trick before “someone” pulls a drastic move???

I have no confidence left in the so-called govt. that I’m questioning everything!

Sheeeshh…

Let’s wait and see.

I think I had a revelation today.

After all this years, I think I’ve just realized that I am quite a workaholic.

:-O

I actually like being busy and having work to do. Basically, keeping myself occupied.

And if I don’t have any plans after work, I could actually willingly just stay in the office to finish off as much as I can because I hate leaving work half done.

Ssssshhhh!!! Do not tell my employers!!!! They would just milk me for all I’m worth, not that they aren’t already doing that *rolls eyes*

Hmmm… I guess this explains why I burn out so fast.

Oh.my.gawd! Malunya!

These people have no shame, is it? Gawd!

Seriously, they are so not fit to be leaders!

Dammit! How come my brains don’t work fast when I need them to?!

Hmph!

I missed a golden opportunity to ‘inform’ someone whom I consider the loudspeaker around my condo area, about my work in spaying/neutering the stray cats around here. Especially since she was so ‘kindly’ telling me that the people around here are getting angry with the cats because apparently they are peeing on cars and such. Which I find rather strange. Cats are finicky animals, especially when it comes to their hygiene and they like to cover their poop and pee. Cars are smooth, metallic objects… nothing to cover their pee. Hmm…

So anyway, she was telling me… ‘Oh, just to let you know, people are getting angry with the cats… bla bla bla… so just letting you know, be careful when you’re feeding the cats to avoid unpleasantness… etc. etc.’

I guess I’m glad that she told me so that I know what’s happening (that was because I was walking back to my place and bumped into her and these 2 cats just dashed out and started following me because they thought I was gonna feed them). And I know she’s not fond of the cats either.

But I so missed the chance to tell her about my work because my brains didn’t work fast enough! Something like “You know, I have been working all these years to neuter these cats so that they don’t reproduce so we won’t have so many cats around. But nobody knows it and all they can do is complain and do nothing. At least I am being proactive about this issue and doing something about it. I don’t earn anywhere near as much as the people who stay here do but I use my hard-earned salary to pay for the surgeries myself. But all I hear are complaints. Do you know how discouraging it is for a young person who is trying to do good in this world to hear people complain and do nothing? I don’t get anything out of doing this, except a smaller bank account balance and knowing that these cats can’t reproduce, which maintains the stray cat population, in the hopes that people will be a bit more tolerant and don’t complain.”

I know I know, my approach is totally wrong. Must not be accusatory because it will put people in the auto-defensive mode but seriously, these people just complain complain complain and do nothing and the next thing I know, all the cats disappear and I hear that the management poisoned them to get rid of them. Oh wait, they don’t do nothing. They do do something. They complain to the management.

I don’t know if she or anyone else cares if I’m Mother Teresa for animals (I am not) but at least I make it known that I’m not just feeding them for fun.

Dammit, I don’t know when I’ll get such an opportunity again! *wail!*

Stupid stupid stupid! *smacks head against the wall*

There is an online community for the residents to sign-up to, to share whatever they wish regarding living in this development. Should I sign-up and publicize my work with the cats? At the moment, my cons list is more than the pros e.g. people might not be receptive and jump to the conclusion and point fingers at me for all their cat-related issues or worse, they might harass my parents about it, since I’m not the owner of our unit. And even if they were receptive, they might think that I have all the solutions to the stray problem and dump all their woes on me, when my focus at the moment is to keep the population under control. I can offer suggestions, but I’m not an all-problem solver.

Can someone please advise me??

Maybe the way my brains work is hard-wired a bit differently as compared to others. But I find it perplexing that in this day and age, people still feel that the reason for marriage is for procreation.

OK, it’s still rather rare to find married couples without kids but I know there are some out there. I know of one. I’m sure they get a lot of flack for deciding not to have kids because it’s simply assumed that you should have kids after getting married. If you don’t, for whatever reason, there’s something wrong with you.

Can’t couples choose to get married just because they want to spend the rest of their lives together, without kids? Is that a reason to “stigmatize” or look down on them or heaven forbid, assume that there’s ‘something wrong’ with them? Given the complexities of life and the world we live in, I feel that the decision to bring a child into this world is getting to be a harder one to make.

It’s not just deciding, “Oh, let’s have a kid” and then boom! You get one in 9 months. There are so many factors to consider these days — financial, education, state of the world… I can name so many things that would make me think three times or more about having a kid.

But anyway, I digress. Why can’t people and society in general, accept and respect that some married couples just do not wish to have kids and let them live their lives? Heck, interracial marriages are still frowned upon in some families… yes, in this day and age. Can you believe that? And then you add in the no-kids factor and you’ve probably got a HK TVB soap opera going on with every nosy aunt and uncle putting in their two cents worth!

Which brings me to another perplexity. What is the fixation with getting male offspring?! Couples who decide to have children, already have so much to deal with, with the whole getting ready to get pregnant AND coping with the stresses of work and daily life, and then they have to add in not only getting successfully pregnant but producing a male kid at that!

C’mon! We are not living in the past centuries! Can we get over the whole ‘having a male heir’ thing already? When we die, we die. Why do we even need to care about having male offspring to propagate the earth?

I’m not against everything cultural but we need to think whether these cultural norms make sense in this day and age instead of just following them blindly. When I hear things like these, I just feel like a small kid again, where if I’m told I should do something that I don’t agree with, I just want to do the total opposite and the world be damned.