Anticipated Serendipity

Pissed drunk

January25

I must’ve had some really bad experience in my previous life or something, but I really abhor seeing people drunk or drinking themselves silly.

From as far back as I can recall, I remember that I’d get anxious when I come across drunk people and try to steer clear of them because I feel that they have a higher tendency to get violent, talk really loud and offensively, and worst of all, puke their guts out. I admit, I have a phobia of vomiting (emetophobia), either myself or others.

So I can’t for the life of me, ever understand why people consume alcohol until they’re pissed drunk and why people would ever want to get another person drunk.

For the drinker, I think it’s selfish, stupid and disgusting because just for your few hours of fun, others will have to pick up after your mess, and it’s totally shameful because you’d just end up making a fool of yourself. For the people who enjoy getting other people drunk, I think it’s selfish, irresponsible and potentially dangerous due to oh so many factors. All for what? A couple hours of seeing someone being high and making a fool of him/herself? I guess the best part for them is that they don’t have to deal with the mess that takes place after they go home.

So yeah, call me a prude if you wish but I have minimal level of respect for these people. Grow up already! I don’t care if it only happens once a year or once in ten effing years.

*speechless*

January25

How is it that some men have no problems stepping in when the situation warrants for it but others don’t seem to have the balls/guts to do the same?

Disappointed doesn’t even begin to describe the feeling when it happens more than once.

Selfish and irresponsible

May30

Women whose partners actively take care of their own health without constant nagging should thank their fortunate stars that they have one less thing to worry about amonst the many other things they have to worry about like work, family, in-law issues (I don’t know why but it seems that women are more likely to face this issue as compared to men), trying to accommodate everyone and keep everyone happy, including herself.

One of my pet peeves is people who choose not to care about their health when the signs are everywhere. Lifestyle diseases are so common these days, due to our diet and sedentary lifestyle. I used to think that hypertension is a condition that only older people get but now, people in their 30s are getting it!

Of course, both women and men are guilty of not taking charge of their health but I see more women who are more involved in their health than men. ST was so upset with her husband (unhealthy food and no exercise; recently diagnosed with hypertension) that she told him he’s selfish and irresponsible because if anything were to happen to him, it would be her who has to care for him and if/when they had children, she alone would have to care for him AND their kids. And she also told him that if he wanted to continue to be irresponsible, he should just have remained single and not get married. I think that has woken him up a bit because he’s now playing badminton weekly, goes running and yoga classes with her. Good for both of them! I told ST at least her husband listens to sense.

I simply don’t get what is so difficult to understand that your health is your responsibility and ultimately, the key to longevity. The moment one starts getting sick with this condition or that, problems will start. Can’t do this, can’t do that, can’t eat this, can’t eat that. And then you have to start popping pills for the rest of your life. Is that such fun? And the most selfish part is that your loved ones will worry about you and you will burden them with caring for you, in the midst of their hectic schedules. I think that that is just plain ultimate selfishness.

All the same

January28

Today I have come to a depressing conclusion that all for-profit companies are the same. Regardless of the “values” they claim to possess and preach, the management team hardly ever walks the talk.

I had initially thought that this company was different, that they at least have a bit of integrity when it comes to practising the values they preach. Unfortunately, naive (or rather, stupid) me got crushed today when the CEO blundered his way through a question on why the management team were given a fleet of new luxury non-hybrid cars when there are hybrid options available, seeing that “being green” seemed to be one of the big values this company preaches. Plus they totally avoided answering the main questions posed by employees and instead chose to answer the “safe” questions only. There were 90+ questions submitted, they answered only 3.

And our cost of living adjustment (COLA) to our salary this year is so pathetic, it’s insulting. The prices of almost everything has gone up. For example, my favorite pan mee at a coffee shop in Glenmarie used to cost RM4, now it costs RM4.50. Petrol prices are increasing, I’ve heard that it’s supposed to increase up to 15% this year. So, as usual, prices go up sky-high but there isn’t even a dent in our salary. Like, for me, after tax deduction, the adjustment is just enough to purchase just one additional tank of fuel per month.

I take back what I said about the company being in sync with my values. This has been proven to be untrue. The management team seems to be like a mini Malaysian govt — they squeeze their employees and vendors dry, and reap all the benefits for themselves and leave us to eat dust. If they’ve got a conscience, I don’t know how they sleep peacfully at night. I know what the hubs would say… “They sleep on 20,000-dollar beds”.

The management not walking their talk was one of the contributing factors of me leaving my previous firm because I cannot stand hypocrites and double standards. That’s where I’ve now come to a conclusion that all companies are the same and I either deal with it and accept it, or leave. Again. Which wouldn’t solve this problem because I would most likely come across the same thing at another organization.

Gawd, how disgusting.

Egg vs Sperm v3

January22

I”m on a roll with these stories on the unfairness of our male-dominated society!

So I’ve this friend, let’s call her Jane, she’s a year older than I am. Jane’s the eldest daughter in her family with 3 younger brothers. Her parents have 2 properties, one condo and one house. Her parents live in the condo with the youngest brother who’s still studying, she and her oldest younger brother live in the house. The 2nd brother is working and lives on his own. Jane pays the installment for the house and shares the utility bills with the brother, I believe.

So her oldest younger brother is getting married. Her parents wanted to get the house renovated because that’s where the brother will be bringing home his new wife for the tea ceremony. Jane was asked to chip in for the renovation, which she did. Her brother, at intervals, would hint at Jane that he was short of budget for his wedding. Like, how her parents and brothers would need new clothes so that they’ll look nice for the wedding. Jane was annoyed “It’s his wedding, why do I need to pay for their new clothes?”. His brother hinted that he wanted a big ang pow from Jane and yellow gold jewelry for his wife. Jane was really annoyed “I’m giving the ang pow, I’ll decide how much to give. If he didn’t ask, I would have given him more. But since he had the nerve to ask, I’ll rethink how much I’m giving.”

Jane was also concerned about how her brother and his wife manage their finances. Their total combined income is around RM8,000 (after deducting EPF and taxes). They currently have 2 car loans and 1 housing loan to pay off. And the brother recently bought another house for about half a million RM. And he traded in one of the cars and bought a new car. So that’s 2 car loans and 2 housing loans to finance on RM8,000 a month, not including their daily expenses like food and travel. Plus they’re holding their wedding, plus they’re trying to have a kid.

Jane also shared that her mom told her, when her dad passes away, the house and condo will go to Jane’s brothers. Jane says “If the property will eventually go to them, why do I have to pay for the installments? They (her brothers) should be paying for it!”. Also, her mom requests from Jane that when she gets married and has her own home, to keep a room for her in case her daughter-in-law doesn’t welcome her in their (her son + wife’s) home.

Jane lamented “When my brother’s in trouble, my mom will ask me to help him. When I’m in trouble, who helps me?”

I was quite appalled when hearing Jane’s stories because I thought this whole “daughters are inferior to sons” practice is less less common these days and at least, my friends wouldn’t be affected because I assume their parents would be a little more open-minded and sensible. To hear that a good friend is actually on the receiving end of this nonsensical custom is too much to bear.

So here’s my take on this :

If the brother wants to get married, he should pay for the wedding and all the necessities on his own. If he can’t afford to pay for it, he shouldn’t be thinking about getting married, let alone having a kid. And definitely not spend on a new car and a new house. And he definitely shouldn’t be asking Jane, on more than one occassion, to help him with the finances for his wedding. I’m sure Jane would have helped him out on her own accord if she saw that he was genuinely struggling, not spending on things he doesn’t need at the moment.

If Jane’s mom/parents insist on giving her sons everything, then they should repay her by taking care of her in her old age. Like, inviting her to stay with them willingly and not burden their sister (although I know most daughters are more than willing to care for their aged parents regardless of how badly the parents have treated them).

I am so glad that my parents have always treated my sis and me equally and fairly, so much so that this value is deeply ingrained in us today. I would like to think that if we had a brother, they would still treat us equally.

A lot of people probably disagree with me but I think something’s seriously wrong with the Asian culture where such blatant discrminination against one’s own children is a norm. And here I thought every child is a gift from God.

Shall we cut off your arm so you’ll know how a shark whose fin was cut off feels like?

January21

After so much awareness being publicized on the cruelty of shark finning (to supply sharks’ fin for the infamous Chinese delicacy of sharks’ fin soup), you can still find sharks’ fin prominently featured in most Chinese restaurants and menus in KL (and I assume, Malaysia).

Some Chinese restaurants will mix real sharks’ fin with the gelatin/flour-made ones, probably to save cost but I’ve been to 3 wedding dinners which had served real sharks’ fin soup (you can tell the difference because the real and fake sharks’ fin look very different and have different texture).
Note : I did not eat the sharks’ fin soup that was served at these dinners.

Honestly, I don’t understand what is the Chinese’ fascination with sharks’ fin. Not only does it not have any nutritional value, it doesn’t even have any taste. But yet, the Chinese still think it’s a delicacy and refuse to stop consuming this dish.

I was glad to note that a recent luncheon held by a Buddhist monk at a major Chinese restaurant chain did not have sharks’ fin on the menu; whether due to budget purposes or genuine concern over the cruelty of shark finning, it didn’t matter. The important thing was there was no sharks’ fin. If there was, I would lose all respect towards the religion and the people practising it because Buddhism is supposed to teach non-violence and not to harm other living beings (based on what little I know of the religion).

However, one thing I’m ashamed of and regret is that sharks’ fin was served during my wedding luncheon. Unfortunately, this decision wasn’t in my control but in hindsight, I think I could have and should have made my stand. Sure, the dish likely consisted mainly of the fake fins but the perception that it was sharks’ fin was bad enough because we still fed the demand for sharks’ fin.

My godbrother’s dad’s commented on this topic :
“We have stopped eating sharks’ fin soup for twenty years now. Every time I’m in a restaurant and I see a table ordering sharks’ fin soup, I will start talking loudly about how they kill shark for fins and the price we will have to pay when we are reborn as shark without fins”

Way to go, Uncle Alan! :)

I won’t go to that extent (I’m shy!) but I resolve to try to educate people around me on the cruelty of shark finning to feed humans’ unnecessary consumption of sharks’ fin.

Egg vs sperm v2

January19

At lunch this afternoon, we were talking about where we were spending our Chinese New Year’s and Mich posed a question to J, if his wife were to ask him if they could spend one year’s reunion dinner with her family, would he agree to it?

J’s reply was, no because it’s not respectful to the husband’s family. And even if he wanted to, his in-laws wouldn’t allow it for the same reason.

So I’m puzzled : Why would it be deemed disrespectful to the husband’s family? And why is it the wife’s family who thinks it’s disrecpectful to the husband’s family? Wow, if the wife’s family thinks it’s disrespectful, then the husband’s family would think it’s almost like blasphemy. But isn’t it more fair to spend one year’s reunion dinner with one side of the family alternately so that each family gets equal share of time with the couple?

Then J went on to remark about the later generation being more westernized, which I disagree to a certain extent. I may not practice certain Chinese customs but that doesn’t make me any less Asian. Just because I don’t like to follow rules / customs / societal norms that don’t make sense doesn’t mean I am any less Chinese than the next Chinese person.

So if I were to bring this up i.e. suggest an alternate-year arrangement as is becoming more common among Chinese couples in the later generations, I would be labeled as disrespectful and my parents would be blamed for not bringing me up the “right” way. And not only that, I may get a major lecture from MY parents themselves for being disrespectful.

Hmm… I still think there’s something wrong with this practice but all I can say is, kudos to those families who are open to accepting changes to the “normal” practices and understanding that times have changed. Because if something is imposed upon someone, then it makes them HAVE to do something rather than WANT to do it, which makes the whole event meaningless.

*This is just one example – I chose this scenario as an example because CNY is coming up and I had happened to come across some women’s comments on this topic. In general, I notice that most cultures give higher priority to the male*

Front-loaders vs top-loaders

January17

I detest top-loading washing machines.

We use a front-loading machine back at my parents’ and I’ve never had to iron my t-shirts. Until now. Now, I have to resort to ironing my t-shirts! So not only does it use more water, it makes my clothes come out so crumpled that I have to use additional energy (i.e. electricity) to iron even my t-shirts. I can’t even shake out the crumples like how I can with clothes I wash in my old front-loader.

And I find that my clothes seem to get worn out faster with the top-loader. So I guess this means in the long-rum, I’d have to spend more to buy new clothes.

The most recent finding I made was that my clothes don’t come out as clean! Isn’t that ridiculous, my clothes don’t come out clean after being washed. Hmm…

Aside from being cheaper than a front-loader, I don’t know why we even use top-loaders, when in the long-run, I don’t find it cost effective because :

  • It uses more water, which translates into a higher water bill and ultimately, doesn’t help in conserving one of our few natural resources.
  • It makes laundry come out really crumpled, which translates into higher electricity bill because now we have to iron clothes which we’ve never had to iron before plus more time spent on laundry doing to ironing when it could be used to do something else.
  • It wears clothes out faster, which translates into more frequent upgrading of wardrobe, resulting in more money being spent.
  • It doesn’t clean clothes as effectively as front-loaders (I encountered a problem which I didn’t encounter using front-loaders).

The only downside to front-loaders is that they’re more expensive than top-loaders but heck, I’m willing to pay the extra amount to avoid all those things above. As soon as I save enough, I’m getting myself a front-loader, since one’s not gonna materialize magically in our backyard.

AirAsia is a big con job!!

January6

NOTHING gets me as riled up as corporations taking advantage of consumers.

NOTHING gets me more upset than companies being blatantly dishonest and expecting us consumers to just suck it in.

My latest incident was with AirAsia this evening. My 2 friends and I were individually trying to book flights from KL to Siem Reap via the AirAsia website. After selecting the flight we wanted, entering all our personal and payment details, we proceed to submit our booking for payment processing. Audrey’s booking went through successfully, mine and Michelle’s came back with an error message that read something like “Error message : The requested flight may not be available, please check date/time…”

We haven’t encountered this before so we got a bit worried and decided to call their helpline. Now, apparently with AirAsia, their “free” helpline is completely automated so you don’t get to speak to a human. We knew an automated system woudn’t be able to help us with our problem. So reluctantly, I tried calling their supposedly Premium Customer Service Line, which charges RM1.95 per minute.

So I called the Premium Customer Service Line and sat through their entire automated sales pitch, which by then, was already about 2 mins into the call. Then I was kindly informed “All our operators are currently busy. Please hold.” Waited for another 2 mins but decided to hang up after that because that’s paying 8 bucks for freaking nothing (just listening to their stupid sales pitch and crappy music) and it didn’t seem like there was any customer service agent available to help me.

Went back to the web page and found out that my session had timed out. So I had to do the flight search all over again and found out that the price of the exact same flight had increased RM50!!! But we had no choice, we had to book this particular flight because Audrey had already gotten hers so we proceeded with the entire process and had to pay the additional fee.

Now, some might say that maybe that particular flight at the fare had reached its threshold, that’s why it didn’t allow us to proceed to purchase it at that price. But you know what? I really don’t care how the system is configured and what stupid rules it has in it. If your customer is already in the midst of the booking process, then you MUST honor the selected fare regardless!

I know, RM50 is not a terribly huge amount but really, I don’t care if it’s RM5 or RM500. It’s not the money that matters; it’s the principle. This is like a slap in the face and a sneer “Nyeh nyeh, you missed out on the lower fare. Now you have to pay the higher fare.” What the eff??!!!

Also, I noticed something on one of the pages during the booking process. So you can pay another fee (among their many many fees) to book your seats upfront. I’m not particular with my seats so I don’t need to book my seat now. In order to proceed with the booking, there are 2 buttons at the bottom of the page. One that says “Pick my seat” and another that reads “Continue without picking a seat” (refer to pic).

Let me ask : Would anyone with half a brain put white text on a light background? Hmmm… I wonder why they would do that. Go figure. And the steps in their booking process is riddled with similar things like these. There are soooooo many steps and so much fineprint to read that after a while, people just get fed up and take whatever they offer or don’t purchase at all. I haven’t used AA in a long time but I don’t remember it being this cumbersome to get a ticket when I last used it.

After this experience, I am NEVER going to fly with AirAsia again. Such a con job!!!! And I’m not the only one who’s had bad experience with AirAsia. From what I’ve read and feedback from my friends, seems like a lot of people have grievances with them. BAH!

~~~~~~~~~~

Another corporation that doesn’t honor their promises is the world’s worst local bank. At least, they didn’t honor the promise they made to me.

They sold me a credit card by promising that I could waive the RM50 govt fee as long as I made at least 5 transactions within the month. I did use it 5 times that month but they didn’t waive it. So I called up their customer service and told them that they should waive it. But no, apparently they cannot waive govt fees. I got really upset and infomed the agent that that was what the salesperson told me, but she insisted that she couldn’t waive the govt fee but will open a case for it and get back to me. As soon as she said that, I knew that it was a lost cause they won’t call me back and they won’t do anything about it. (Case in point : To-date, they have not called me to explain or straighten out the matter)

Again, the amount was not that big, also RM50. But like I said, it’s not the money, it’s the principle.

So I closed the current account that I had there (I had a significant amount kept in that bank) and canceled the credit card. I didn’t want to have anymore dealings with a bank who can’t keep its promises.

Seriously, if corporations cannot be honest and have at least some integrity, they don’t deserve to get any business at all. I know every corporation is out there to make a profit but seriously, where’s their integrity and dignity?

Women and their drama

November30

I have recently confirmed that I have no patience for women with love/relationship issues who do not listen to what her friends try to tell her but yet can go through the same shitty situation over and over again, and come bawling when things go wrong.

Seriously! How many times can one repeat oneself??! It’s like, once bitten, twice shy, right?

Nooooooooo…some women stubbornly persistent to pine after the same type of male whose track record of shitty behavior has been proven in past experiences but they.never.seem.to.learn!! What’s worse, they make excuses to justify the behaviors of these sorry excuses of men.

Gah! Makes me sooooo exasperated I feel like slapping some sense into them!!!

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